urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt Ashley Ashley 2003-12-20T03:08:05Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:31762 2003-12-20T03:08:05Z 2003-12-20T03:08:05Z that thing, that thing, that thing he does...ohhhh it sets my heart on fire....oh how i do love thee <br /><br />&lt;3josh&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:31687 2003-12-18T19:59:49Z 2003-12-18T19:59:49Z all i want for christmas is you...with nothign on LOL Two months today....it has been like a roller coster, but i have enjoyed the ride...<br /><br />josh means so much to me and makes me so happy, i couldnt ask for more...now i have to go find his christmas gift, cuse i have yet to find thee perfect thing.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:31399 2003-12-18T04:02:30Z 2003-12-18T04:02:30Z <|3 sry i cant be perfect "No one is perfect...nor am i ...we all make mistakes...but we all learn from them"-me<br /><br />kick ass concert and dinner with the crew....kinda<br /><br />joe ..fyi thanks man you really made me feel like an idoit, just have you know, i am with ONE guy(i spelled that for you), who makes me very happy, and i couldnt ask for anything more than that..i just didnt think you could ever in a million years think that of me... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:31011 2003-12-17T12:29:53Z 2003-12-17T12:29:53Z lucky chwed my shoes think N&gt;E&gt;G&gt;A&gt;T&gt;I&gt;V&gt;E...for i am so scared urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:30731 2003-12-17T04:02:53Z 2003-12-17T04:02:53Z it ant no big secret so..i really think...there is sumthing rong with josh...i just wish he would tell me...&pink heart; <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />&lt;|3josh....... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:30476 2003-12-16T23:06:30Z 2003-12-16T23:06:30Z i got my puppy today..and i named him lucky..he is only 6 weeks old...and is so awesome....i love him....also i have no water and a big flood in my basement..how great is that...<br /><br />::Waiting::<br /> <br /> <br /> ::waiting::<br /><br /><br /> ::wateing::<br /><br /><br />so still no call....<br /><br /><br />ok so yeaterday mel really pissed me off..he was gonna come get me right after he got out of school...and i understand that anderson gets out a little after we do..but he did nt even show..and he gave me the lamest excuse...ok he is real cool...<br /><br />i miss josh so much only a few more days until i get to see him again..OH and for everyones INFO.....no were not breaking up....sum ppl just need to stay out of my life..and business..i dont care what you guys say..josh is a great guy..Age dont mean a DAMN thing!!!and if u were truly my friends you would support me....<br /><br /><br />anywho tomorrow is my first real concert...@ 7:00 come see me!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i LOVE you...im not in LOVE with you... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:30221 2003-12-15T05:33:37Z 2003-12-15T05:33:37Z so tongiht i hung out with my sweetie..we went to vanessas, and talked to her cuse she is haveing a hard time right now..but she kind of made me sooooo mad...cuse she was in her bra and undies.. with my boyfriend in the room...and he was all feeling her stomach and stuff...and i honestly think vanessa is a very pretty gurl...but sumthing makes me so jelious of her..but i still love her so much...<br /><br />things are so awesomely amazing.....that it almost hurts when i breath.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:29974 2003-12-13T01:29:20Z 2003-12-16T22:55:11Z school,,work..dance..choir..homework...school..work..dance..choir...homework...josh..<br /> thats really all life is about these days..*sigh*<br />Oh man..the other day my friend told me to eat a crayon..and i never did it befor, and im uasually down with trying anythign once, so i did,,i must say. it wasnt bad.<br /><br /> i have this HUGE paper on photogarphy..its liek worth half my gread..DUE on monday..it is friday and i have nothign yet...<br /><br /> today has been such a crappy day..other than going to "the blend" at the fisher building..it has thee best coffee..i had two of them..YummY..and not only is it good..but it is cheep also..and they finally put a starbucks in wyandotte...that made my day..<br /><br />so yeah andy is home...we hung out the other day...YUCKY..thats all...:(...<br /><br />ok so here is a major issue in my life right now, that i must come clear about..so im with josh..all happy and stuff...but every time i see sumone else i get thee biggest butterflys in my tummy..and my heart beats faster.....man ol man....why cant i just leave the past in the past<br /><br />well im off to vanessas for the night urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:29866 2003-12-09T02:34:23Z 2003-12-09T02:34:23Z i want a 35mm SLR camra!!!!!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:29590 2003-12-09T02:33:42Z 2003-12-09T02:33:42Z thursday: tomorrow i'll be you IT A FUCKING HICKY...NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />....people piss me off....<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />so ok im almost finished with my christmas shopping, im still clueless on what im getting josh,.but im sure ill find "the perfect" hehe(believe u would not get it)..so yeah only 2 more days until andy gets home!! i cant wait..<br /><br />tongith was so much fun , my gurls came and pick me up after work and we all went shopping, well on our way home, there was this car full of hot ass guys, im talking the melt in ur mouth not ur hands kinda guys. and we were playing tag for like an hour on eureka..HOTT!!!!<br /><br /><br />Sarah..i seriously want you to think about this whole thing, think about what you would be leaveing, sarah i love you, your like my life, , and i just dont want to see you get hurt,(i knoe how he is)so please THINK about it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:29417 2003-12-07T15:45:53Z 2003-12-07T15:45:53Z YAY!!...im going to the MAE concert..woop woop..gotta get my tickets first lol..but im going urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:29165 2003-12-06T04:35:40Z 2003-12-06T04:35:40Z "coffee" copeland "stars will shoot, and one day the sunshine will turn into rain"-me, if u can understand that, u can undestand it all.<br /><br />man today has been a great day..all i did was go to school, then came home and went to the new huge dollar store with my mom,OMG i love that one..dollar stores rock my socks...other than that i have just been relaxing, i really needed it tho.you no just a day to myself..but it would have been nice to see josh , since i have to work on our day, but you no he is busy tongiht(wit lisa)oh well..im hanging out with andy next wendsday when he gets home from school, he'll be home for a month, and he actually wants to hang out, so i might just do that, and i will tell josh listen u go hang out with lisa and ill hang out with andy, and ill see how he goes for that one..HAHA<br /><br />any ways..i have a huge change in what i want to major in..lately i have been in this huge thing with photogarphy..thats uasually what im working on when you see BLACK & WHITE...in my away messages(black and white pics are my favorite)..anyways i was looking up classes at GVSU. and they offer alot(vanessa seem to think i wont get far, but i dont let anyone get in the way if i want to do sumthing and believe i can do it)so hopefully i can prove her rong.or wait her excat word were " ashley you wont make much money"..and i go vanessa money is ntohgin to me....i go, as long as what i am doing is makewing me happy, and it is a dream that i am liveing , well that is all that matters...she just smiled lol<br /><br />so yeah now im guessing vanessa and i are singing at the school talent show, lol that outta go quit well(lol)right...i'll scare everyoone away..<br /><br />anywho!! thats another day in the life with ashley!!!<br /><br /><br />&lt;3josh&lt;3 boobookittyfuck!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:28878 2003-11-30T01:28:53Z 2003-11-30T01:28:53Z man today has been the funnest ever....like we woke up and hun gout for a little while..then we went skateing ..and omg me and dana almost died...it was sum funy shit...if u wanna no more just ask..theni got to talk to josh ..man i miss him so much..but tomorrow he is comming over when i get home..and yeah...we'll make up for lost time..any ways..im coming home tomorrow..i cant wate!!!!so yeah im going to stay the night with my aunt kathy tongiht so peace<br /><br />i MISS EVERY ONE SO MUCH!!!<br /><br /><br />&lt;3JOSH&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:28619 2003-11-28T21:21:31Z 2003-11-28T21:21:31Z so me and dana have had fun since we have been here...except i miss josh so much..(and everyone else) like i got to call josh on thinksgiving day but we dodint get to talk very long at all...:(...and now the day after i have been at my aunts with my cousin and dana all day alone ahh there is ntohgint to do at all...everyone else is out shoping....it sucks...but yeah it is freezing here...it has been snowing and raining the whole time ..and to top my weekend off dana riped my earing out of my earing and it was bleeding and it hurt and sucked and yeah...i miss josh welp i got to run toodles urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:28236 2003-11-24T20:51:31Z 2003-11-24T20:51:31Z when the lights go out so i went and picked up my check, again they shorted me..im so pissed..it seems like no matter how hard i work im going no where..at this rate i can kiss new york good bye..maybe it is a sign..that i just wasnt ment to go...:(...OH well ill get over it...to top my day off..JOSH FUCKIGN just pissed me off so obad..ok get this i am no where close to being a jelious person...well in this case he fucking broke the ice,,ok tongiht he is going to a concert with his ex girlfriend lisa..then there gonna go to a party(which means josh will be drinking(which means oh boy) and yeah)..well tey both get out of classes early this yearand there planing a trip to ny..which is fine you no but there staying in the same room..ok i have no problem with him have female friends..but he is with her all the time...and i honestly think he is with her.and thinks i dont no about it like we only call each other every other day because of the whole long distance thingy..but..like it feels like he is rubbign shit into my face..and its makeing me really pissed..and its breaking my heart too...but idk<br /><br />family issues...well my brother is thee biggest ass whole and im not gonna get to see my nephew anymore...everybodys walking out...BUT IM NOT GONNA!!!....<br /><br /><br />im so sick of all of it, guys,family,work,,when will it all be over? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:27983 2003-11-24T20:19:21Z 2003-11-24T20:19:21Z is the world almost over Alone....so scared....<br />..she crys...<br />...who cares...<br /><br />..she cuts...<br />...she bleeds..<br />...she wants.....<br />...she needs....<br />The love.....<br /> ...no heart...<br />..so cold..<br />...no one..<br />...empty...<br />she feels....<br /> ...Alone... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:27710 2003-11-24T05:16:48Z 2003-11-24T05:16:48Z when the lights go out so tonight i got to hang out with my josh...he took me to the movies and i made him see ...yes ...a chick flick...up town girls...YAY!! it was a great movie...then he took me to get a slurpee then we went and chilled by the water and yeah LOL..then sarah and dana came up to the park andwe all chilled..Dana and josh were fighting like not really fighting but on the ground roughing it up kinda fighting..it was soo funny,,,,then we all chilled at danas for awhile ...it was summ funny shit ..but i had a great tiem...geeez im gonna miss josh soo much!!! im really not looking foward to going to illinoise..but im glad im gonna have my dana with me..and we'll jhust beat the shit out of my cousins while were there..<br /><br />anyways vanessa thinks i am a god because i was looking really hot the other night (NO JOKE I WAS even told by a really hot ass guy i was looking goo)(must be my ass) anyways ..because i bought her smokes..and i didnt get carded...so she loves me even more..<br /><br />ryan kinda scared me tho..cuse he is like idk my best friend and yeah he is a smooth guy lol...cough..cough..yeah<br />i miss hanging out with the crew cuse i love them so much and we never have time for eachother i swear it is nuts ..its so sad too because there all my really good friends...:(...well thats all folks<br /><br /><br />&lt;3JOSH&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:27502 2003-11-23T17:05:33Z 2003-11-23T17:05:33Z walking on sun shine woah wooo!! i get to see my hunnie today im so excited...last time befor i leave tho :(..that makes me sad...<br /><br />Sarahs house like woah!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:27178 2003-11-22T04:18:31Z 2003-11-22T04:18:31Z i want to be the one!! if u could only read my mind..u would no it would be telling u to read my heart..and if you could read my heart you would no that it would be holding back the feelings that i have for you..what i feel for u is so amazing..ur my world..i just can't let it out...people say dont hold things back, it wont get you anywere..but im scared of where it may get me...for now i no you hold my hand..but when will you hold my heart..<br /><br /><br />i feel strange saying all this stuff, for it hasnt been that long of a tiem we have been together, and how at the beginning i didnt think it was gonna work..but JOsh is so amazing...and i knoe that i have never felt this way for anyone EVER!!..and i dont think i could be any happier than i am right now!! thanks for everything hunnie.(lol the funny part is he dont even read this lol) oh well..anyways i am now proud to admit..i have been sexually sober for uhh well since homecomming night lol...(kinda sucks)...but it will get swinging soon again hopefully lol...thats another thing i love about josh...he is not all about sex..we barly talk about masturebation lol...let alone sex..and it so cute cuse he is still a V card holder..and its just soo nice to be with a guy that actually cares about me and not what i can do :)..HE is so amazing LOL!!..i love it....i just love being in his arms..talking on the phone until we fall asleep...kissing under the stars in the dark parks...our coffee walks ...its all amazing..i will never forget the day we met..if it wasnt for sarah i would pry still be writeing *single* in my info lol<br /><br />welp that wraps up my relashionship life....<br /><br />work is ok..i fucking hate it lol...but i cant quit..because thats what i hate...quitters...<br /><br />school..it is actually going very well.i got my classses for next semester ..i get a feeling of lots of hw lol...<br /><br />Dance...dance is so awesome..i love it ..but i am always so sore..i hate doing splits..<br /><br />social life..welp i really dont have one anymore..i get called into work every day i swear they think i am there fucking gofer....gurrr.....<br /><br />welp that all folks....<br /><br />YAY!!! only a few more hours till my josh is coming to get me!!then i wont get to see him next weekend cuse im gonna be out of town :( urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:26940 2003-11-19T12:16:44Z 2003-11-19T12:16:44Z softly BOOBOOKITTYFUCK.....<br /><br /><br />....HEHE....<br /><br /><br />you can call me anything!<br /><br /><br /><br />*JOSH* urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:26738 2003-11-19T00:14:27Z 2003-11-19T00:14:27Z ashley and josh so josh ended up makeing it over here dunday and he even stayed really late...my mom was just gonna let him stay the night but he had to work in the morning ... :(...any ways lol...<br /><br /><br />to day is one month me and josh have been together...<br />*josh hunnie* you are thee greatest guy ever, and in such little time u mean soo much to me..it hard to imagian that befor i didnt see things working ...what would i do whit out you...u are my mine...and im glad were an US...thanks for every thing<br /><br /><br />I remember that kiss in a cold world, oh girl<br />Sunlight fell from your lips, tenderly you shattered me<br />Somehow you touched me like no one else<br />Slipped into my soul like a prayer<br /><br />Baby, with the sweetest kiss<br />You came along and stole my breath<br />Tore down my defenses with a whisper<br />Oh you showed me how love can be<br />You broke through to my heart<br />Softly, baby softly<br /><br />You're like God in this world, fragile, beautiful<br />There's so much trust in your eyes, they make me remember blue<br />Skies and sunshine<br />I wanna be what you see in me<br />I wanna love you the way you love me<br /><br />Baby, with the sweetest kiss<br />You came along and stole my breath<br />Tear down my defenses with a whisper<br />Oh you show me how love can be<br />You break through to my heart<br />Softly<br /><br />I don't wanna be that strong if it means being alone<br />I wanna stay with you where I belong<br />And let you show me just how good love can be<br />You break through to my heart<br />Softly, baby softly<br />Softly, baby softly<br /><br /><br />JOSH ur the best..* BIG KISSES*...(sry we couldnt spen today together) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:26545 2003-11-16T23:50:28Z 2003-11-16T23:50:28Z ...i miss him....i hate how last min stuff comes up...and he expects things to work....:(...well on the plus side he has no more friday and saturday classes..so i hope that means ill get to see him more often....i just feel like he dont want to like see me..cuse sunday is OUR day the only day we get to see eachother...and where is he,he is hanging out with lisa and timmy... :( how shitty is that<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i miss you josh.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:26260 2003-11-15T04:18:30Z 2003-11-15T04:18:30Z his kiss is what makes my hear beat!!! YAY!! finally a free day..no work nothign going on..lol..all week it has been non stop..school..bored meetings...new york pratice..dance...and maybe a 20 min run here and there with sarah to get sum coffee...but Dance is soo much fun i love it..i can wait till we get to preform it lol...I miss josh!!...but only 1 more day till i get to see him...it almost like we never have time for each other ..so we put sunday as our day together...cuse he works during the day then he is a full time student at scraft...lol..so really his only free day is sunday as is mine...but like sumtime he'll call me on his breaks from school just to tell me he is thinking about me...lol it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside lol...so anyways..tongiht i hung out wiht sarah and dana..i wanted to go to the mall...and spend sum cash ..but i ended up getting sum really cute shoe laces for my shoes and two rings lol there so cute...and then we took dana home and i chilled wiht sarah at my house and my mom told me to take her car and go get my sister lol i was like umm alright lol she has never really asked me to do th at befor..but hey its all good.i dont get it she'll let me drive her car..but she wont let me drive the new truck..it make no sence ..OH yeah i also found out that my choir is the only group going to newyork the other 2 groups are younger..lol which is gonna give us a huge name lol im very excited..W0o0o0o..i get my first check on monday..FINALLY lol but thats alread spent lol...so yeah thats a nother day in the boreing life of ashley urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:25927 2003-11-11T03:05:30Z 2003-11-11T03:05:30Z Man choir confrence was so fun....lets just keep it at that lol...i am so sick tho..i have no voice lol..it was so worth it...it was alot of hard work but i learned so much...and i missed josh alot when i was gone ..lol i dont no really why..but when i came home i called him and he is like im comming over so i get ready and he took me and venessa out for coco...vanessa spilled her coco everywhere omg it was so funny.then i made him take me up to work to get my schedule(ehh).so yeah then we went to danas house and chilled there for a little while and dana and vanessa talked about how they were so fatt(iin which they really arnt) but me and josh talked and yeah and he kissed me again and it was a special kiss...he confused the hell out of me last night tho..like me and josh have been together but not really offical since the 18th and well he thinks we made things offical on the 18th and i was all scared and confuse..cuse of the whole grant thing..and i did tell josh the story and he says he understands and all this other stuff..but like idk it makes me feel like i cheated on him(when really i didnt no we were compleatly offical)..and i feel so bad and it is hard to live with that fact....I always mess up things, going good but..i guess they really arnt messed up cuse he said he should have put things in other words when he asked me so really i havnt been single since the 18th lol...woah!!(life makes no sence sumtimes but we all learn to deal with it)<br /><br />josh lol u are the bestest boyfriend ever lol..MWAH!!!(dice);)<br /><br />anyways i am like so majorly tired...work is going good i work with like all my friends and a few hotties but i have to remember i can only look!...lol anyways so yeah my life isnt intresting right now so yeah....<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Ashley *N* josh...10/18/03(i suppose) LOL urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:asherbutt:25850 2003-11-02T19:46:03Z 2003-11-02T19:48:59Z yup so yester day i worked 4 hr in the morning at the firehouse..then went shopping...then had to go into work for 4 hrs ...which sucked balls...but anyway.after work i went to sarahs party..hung out there for a little while...then later jade called me and i had to go over there..welp i ended up staying the night there...it is quit intrestring watching the washer spin after putting 5 scoops of soap in it ..lol any way..jade ,grant, and me all stayed up playing pool...well jade went to bed early and stuff...so me and grant just kept playing ..well we stoped for a little while and just talked for like 3 hrs stright...i no it was odd u no since i hate him so much..but like .i still have feelings for him, cuse if i didnt, i wouldnt think about him, and get this feeling inside of me when ever he smiles at me... i never cared so much for one person like i did him..and it feels like no matter how hard i try no matter what i do or how many guys i date...they wont go away..i mean i dont want to be with him again..cuse that would make things worse...but like last night was nice...and he made me smile so big when he said i was amazing...u no sum guy really do grow up if u give them time..i just dont want to get lost in that mess again..and is it true when some ppl say, sumtimes u can fall so hard, that there is a reason you cant get up? well last night it was like a huge movie of the whole time we were together...and i knoe this is so wrong to be talking about....SOME ONE TALK SOME FUCKING SENCE INTO ME befor i do somethign fucking stupid!!!