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| 10:00pm 19/12/2003 |
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that thing, that thing, that thing he does...ohhhh it sets my heart on fire....oh how i do love thee
<3josh<3 |
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| 02:54pm 18/12/2003 |
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mood:  calm music: all i want for christmas is you...with nothign on LOL
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Two months today....it has been like a roller coster, but i have enjoyed the ride...
josh means so much to me and makes me so happy, i couldnt ask for more...now i have to go find his christmas gift, cuse i have yet to find thee perfect thing.... |
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| 10:55pm 17/12/2003 |
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mood:  crushed music: <|3 sry i cant be perfect
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"No one is perfect...nor am i ...we all make mistakes...but we all learn from them"-me
kick ass concert and dinner with the crew....kinda
joe ..fyi thanks man you really made me feel like an idoit, just have you know, i am with ONE guy(i spelled that for you), who makes me very happy, and i couldnt ask for anything more than that..i just didnt think you could ever in a million years think that of me... |
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| 07:25am 17/12/2003 |
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mood:  scared music: lucky chwed my shoes
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think N>E>G>A>T>I>V>E...for i am so scared |
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| 10:58pm 16/12/2003 |
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mood:  okay music: it ant no big secret
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so..i really think...there is sumthing rong with josh...i just wish he would tell me...&pink heart;
<|3josh....... |
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| 05:54pm 16/12/2003 |
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mood:  aggravated
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i got my puppy today..and i named him lucky..he is only 6 weeks old...and is so awesome....i love him....also i have no water and a big flood in my basement..how great is that...
::Waiting:: ::waiting::
::wateing::
so still no call....
ok so yeaterday mel really pissed me off..he was gonna come get me right after he got out of school...and i understand that anderson gets out a little after we do..but he did nt even show..and he gave me the lamest excuse...ok he is real cool...
i miss josh so much only a few more days until i get to see him again..OH and for everyones INFO.....no were not breaking up....sum ppl just need to stay out of my life..and business..i dont care what you guys say..josh is a great guy..Age dont mean a DAMN thing!!!and if u were truly my friends you would support me....
anywho tomorrow is my first real concert...@ 7:00 come see me!!
i LOVE you...im not in LOVE with you... |
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| 12:23am 15/12/2003 |
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so tongiht i hung out with my sweetie..we went to vanessas, and talked to her cuse she is haveing a hard time right now..but she kind of made me sooooo mad...cuse she was in her bra and undies.. with my boyfriend in the room...and he was all feeling her stomach and stuff...and i honestly think vanessa is a very pretty gurl...but sumthing makes me so jelious of her..but i still love her so much...
things are so awesomely amazing.....that it almost hurts when i breath.... |
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| LO LO LO lo LO LO LO |
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| 08:02pm 12/12/2003 |
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mood:  stressed
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school,,work..dance..choir..homework...school..work..dance..choir...homework...josh.. thats really all life is about these days..*sigh* Oh man..the other day my friend told me to eat a crayon..and i never did it befor, and im uasually down with trying anythign once, so i did,,i must say. it wasnt bad.
i have this HUGE paper on photogarphy..its liek worth half my gread..DUE on monday..it is friday and i have nothign yet...
today has been such a crappy day..other than going to "the blend" at the fisher building..it has thee best coffee..i had two of them..YummY..and not only is it good..but it is cheep also..and they finally put a starbucks in wyandotte...that made my day..
so yeah andy is home...we hung out the other day...YUCKY..thats all...:(...
ok so here is a major issue in my life right now, that i must come clear about..so im with josh..all happy and stuff...but every time i see sumone else i get thee biggest butterflys in my tummy..and my heart beats faster.....man ol man....why cant i just leave the past in the past
well im off to vanessas for the night |
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| 09:32pm 08/12/2003 |
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i want a 35mm SLR camra!!!!!!!!! |
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| 09:25pm 08/12/2003 |
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music: thursday: tomorrow i'll be you
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IT A FUCKING HICKY...NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!
....people piss me off....
so ok im almost finished with my christmas shopping, im still clueless on what im getting josh,.but im sure ill find "the perfect" hehe(believe u would not get it)..so yeah only 2 more days until andy gets home!! i cant wait..
tongith was so much fun , my gurls came and pick me up after work and we all went shopping, well on our way home, there was this car full of hot ass guys, im talking the melt in ur mouth not ur hands kinda guys. and we were playing tag for like an hour on eureka..HOTT!!!!
Sarah..i seriously want you to think about this whole thing, think about what you would be leaveing, sarah i love you, your like my life, , and i just dont want to see you get hurt,(i knoe how he is)so please THINK about it |
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| 10:41am 07/12/2003 |
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YAY!!...im going to the MAE concert..woop woop..gotta get my tickets first lol..but im going |
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| dobdobdo lalalallalala |
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| 11:18pm 05/12/2003 |
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mood:  relaxed music: "coffee" copeland
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"stars will shoot, and one day the sunshine will turn into rain"-me, if u can understand that, u can undestand it all.
man today has been a great day..all i did was go to school, then came home and went to the new huge dollar store with my mom,OMG i love that one..dollar stores rock my socks...other than that i have just been relaxing, i really needed it tho.you no just a day to myself..but it would have been nice to see josh , since i have to work on our day, but you no he is busy tongiht(wit lisa)oh well..im hanging out with andy next wendsday when he gets home from school, he'll be home for a month, and he actually wants to hang out, so i might just do that, and i will tell josh listen u go hang out with lisa and ill hang out with andy, and ill see how he goes for that one..HAHA
any ways..i have a huge change in what i want to major in..lately i have been in this huge thing with photogarphy..thats uasually what im working on when you see BLACK & WHITE...in my away messages(black and white pics are my favorite)..anyways i was looking up classes at GVSU. and they offer alot(vanessa seem to think i wont get far, but i dont let anyone get in the way if i want to do sumthing and believe i can do it)so hopefully i can prove her rong.or wait her excat word were " ashley you wont make much money"..and i go vanessa money is ntohgin to me....i go, as long as what i am doing is makewing me happy, and it is a dream that i am liveing , well that is all that matters...she just smiled lol
so yeah now im guessing vanessa and i are singing at the school talent show, lol that outta go quit well(lol)right...i'll scare everyoone away..
anywho!! thats another day in the life with ashley!!!
<3josh<3 boobookittyfuck!!!! |
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| 07:32pm 29/11/2003 |
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man today has been the funnest ever....like we woke up and hun gout for a little while..then we went skateing ..and omg me and dana almost died...it was sum funy shit...if u wanna no more just ask..theni got to talk to josh ..man i miss him so much..but tomorrow he is comming over when i get home..and yeah...we'll make up for lost time..any ways..im coming home tomorrow..i cant wate!!!!so yeah im going to stay the night with my aunt kathy tongiht so peace
i MISS EVERY ONE SO MUCH!!!
<3JOSH<3 |
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| im in the sticks |
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| 03:25pm 28/11/2003 |
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so me and dana have had fun since we have been here...except i miss josh so much..(and everyone else) like i got to call josh on thinksgiving day but we dodint get to talk very long at all...:(...and now the day after i have been at my aunts with my cousin and dana all day alone ahh there is ntohgint to do at all...everyone else is out shoping....it sucks...but yeah it is freezing here...it has been snowing and raining the whole time ..and to top my weekend off dana riped my earing out of my earing and it was bleeding and it hurt and sucked and yeah...i miss josh welp i got to run toodles |
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| shityest day ever |
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| 03:19pm 24/11/2003 |
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mood:  depressed music: when the lights go out
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so i went and picked up my check, again they shorted me..im so pissed..it seems like no matter how hard i work im going no where..at this rate i can kiss new york good bye..maybe it is a sign..that i just wasnt ment to go...:(...OH well ill get over it...to top my day off..JOSH FUCKIGN just pissed me off so obad..ok get this i am no where close to being a jelious person...well in this case he fucking broke the ice,,ok tongiht he is going to a concert with his ex girlfriend lisa..then there gonna go to a party(which means josh will be drinking(which means oh boy) and yeah)..well tey both get out of classes early this yearand there planing a trip to ny..which is fine you no but there staying in the same room..ok i have no problem with him have female friends..but he is with her all the time...and i honestly think he is with her.and thinks i dont no about it like we only call each other every other day because of the whole long distance thingy..but..like it feels like he is rubbign shit into my face..and its makeing me really pissed..and its breaking my heart too...but idk
family issues...well my brother is thee biggest ass whole and im not gonna get to see my nephew anymore...everybodys walking out...BUT IM NOT GONNA!!!....
im so sick of all of it, guys,family,work,,when will it all be over? |
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| feelings |
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| 03:14pm 24/11/2003 |
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mood:  depressed music: is the world almost over
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Alone....so scared.... ..she crys... ...who cares...
..she cuts... ...she bleeds.. ...she wants..... ...she needs.... The love..... ...no heart... ..so cold.. ...no one.. ...empty... she feels.... ...Alone... |
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| night with my baby |
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| 12:14am 24/11/2003 |
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mood:  cheerful music: when the lights go out
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so tonight i got to hang out with my josh...he took me to the movies and i made him see ...yes ...a chick flick...up town girls...YAY!! it was a great movie...then he took me to get a slurpee then we went and chilled by the water and yeah LOL..then sarah and dana came up to the park andwe all chilled..Dana and josh were fighting like not really fighting but on the ground roughing it up kinda fighting..it was soo funny,,,,then we all chilled at danas for awhile ...it was summ funny shit ..but i had a great tiem...geeez im gonna miss josh soo much!!! im really not looking foward to going to illinoise..but im glad im gonna have my dana with me..and we'll jhust beat the shit out of my cousins while were there..
anyways vanessa thinks i am a god because i was looking really hot the other night (NO JOKE I WAS even told by a really hot ass guy i was looking goo)(must be my ass) anyways ..because i bought her smokes..and i didnt get carded...so she loves me even more..
ryan kinda scared me tho..cuse he is like idk my best friend and yeah he is a smooth guy lol...cough..cough..yeah i miss hanging out with the crew cuse i love them so much and we never have time for eachother i swear it is nuts ..its so sad too because there all my really good friends...:(...well thats all folks
<3JOSH<3 |
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| 12:01pm 23/11/2003 |
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mood:  cheerful music: walking on sun shine woah
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wooo!! i get to see my hunnie today im so excited...last time befor i leave tho :(..that makes me sad...
Sarahs house like woah!! |
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| *sigh*..its like a game of hide N seek |
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| 10:25pm 21/11/2003 |
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mood:  happy music: i want to be the one!!
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if u could only read my mind..u would no it would be telling u to read my heart..and if you could read my heart you would no that it would be holding back the feelings that i have for you..what i feel for u is so amazing..ur my world..i just can't let it out...people say dont hold things back, it wont get you anywere..but im scared of where it may get me...for now i no you hold my hand..but when will you hold my heart..
i feel strange saying all this stuff, for it hasnt been that long of a tiem we have been together, and how at the beginning i didnt think it was gonna work..but JOsh is so amazing...and i knoe that i have never felt this way for anyone EVER!!..and i dont think i could be any happier than i am right now!! thanks for everything hunnie.(lol the funny part is he dont even read this lol) oh well..anyways i am now proud to admit..i have been sexually sober for uhh well since homecomming night lol...(kinda sucks)...but it will get swinging soon again hopefully lol...thats another thing i love about josh...he is not all about sex..we barly talk about masturebation lol...let alone sex..and it so cute cuse he is still a V card holder..and its just soo nice to be with a guy that actually cares about me and not what i can do :)..HE is so amazing LOL!!..i love it....i just love being in his arms..talking on the phone until we fall asleep...kissing under the stars in the dark parks...our coffee walks ...its all amazing..i will never forget the day we met..if it wasnt for sarah i would pry still be writeing *single* in my info lol
welp that wraps up my relashionship life....
work is ok..i fucking hate it lol...but i cant quit..because thats what i hate...quitters...
school..it is actually going very well.i got my classses for next semester ..i get a feeling of lots of hw lol...
Dance...dance is so awesome..i love it ..but i am always so sore..i hate doing splits..
social life..welp i really dont have one anymore..i get called into work every day i swear they think i am there fucking gofer....gurrr.....
welp that all folks....
YAY!!! only a few more hours till my josh is coming to get me!!then i wont get to see him next weekend cuse im gonna be out of town :( |
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| 07:13am 19/11/2003 |
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mood:  giggly music: softly
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BOOBOOKITTYFUCK.....
....HEHE....
you can call me anything!
*JOSH* |
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